What your child needs in each home
When a child has two homes, the same question comes up again and again: is the toothbrush here or there? Where is the rain gear? Do we have enough nappies? A well-thought-out overview of what should be where saves time, reduces frustration, and gives the child a more settled everyday life.
Basics in both homes
Some things should be available in both homes, so the child does not have to think about packing the essentials. The idea is that the child can arrive at each home and have what they need — without a big bag.
Typical basics: toothbrush and toothpaste, hairbrush, their own bedding, towels, a pair of indoor shoes, enough clothes for the stay (including underwear and socks), and a charger for phone or tablet if applicable.
For younger children: nappies, dummy, drinking bottle, a favourite book or soft toy (if the child has several), and childproofing where needed.
Things that should follow the child
Anything that exists in only one copy — and the child needs daily — should come along at every handover. This typically includes the school bag, lunch kit, specific clothes for activities, and medical equipment.
Medication and allergy equipment are especially important. Both parents should know which medications the child uses, the dosage, and where the equipment is. Ideally it should be in both homes — but if not, it must always follow the child.
The favourite stuffed animal or comfort blanket is easy to forget — but can make a big difference to the child's sense of safety, especially at bedtime in the other home.
Seasonal equipment
Needs change with the seasons. Snowsuit, mittens, and hat in winter. Swimwear and sunscreen in summer. Rain gear and wellies in spring and autumn.
Not everything needs to be doubled — but it helps to review what is needed in each home at the change of season. A quick check in September and March can save many mornings without the right winter jacket.
Write down what is in each home and update the list when things move or get replaced.
Age-appropriate lists
Needs change as the child grows. A small child needs nappies and a dummy. A school-age child needs a backpack, gym kit, and perhaps an instrument. A teenager needs a charger, keys, and bus money.
Let the child take part in the process when old enough. Children from about seven or eight can have their own small checklist to use before each handover.
Teenagers should largely manage this themselves, but it still helps for parents to have a shared overview — especially for medical equipment, documents, and things that are expensive to replace.
Avoid making the child the messenger
A common pattern is the child becoming the one who remembers and carries information between homes. 'Tell dad that…' or 'remember to bring…' places responsibility on the child that really belongs to the parents.
A shared equipment list that both parents can see and update removes this burden from the child. The parents check the list — the child does not have to remember everything.
The same goes for messages. Practical information should go directly between parents, not through the child.
How to keep track
The key is having one shared place where both parents can see what is in each home. Whether it is an app, a spreadsheet, or a simple list on the fridge — what matters is that both have access.
Update the list regularly. Clothes that are too small, broken equipment, and seasonal changes should be caught before they become a problem on a busy morning.
Treat the list as a practical tool — not as control. The goal is that the child has what they need, regardless of which home they are in.
Shared equipment lists for both homes
Lina's shared equipment lists let both parents see what is in each home — and update in real time. So the equipment follows the child.